Islamic Life Forum : Prophet Muhammad's cousins "Abu Sufyan Ibn al Harith" & "Abdullah bin Abi Umayyah" embraced Islam after insults & disbelief

Abu Sufyan Ibn al Harith was the cousin of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and his brother in breast-milk; he used to like the Prophet ﷺ before Islam, but once he ﷺ received revelation, Abu Sufyan expressed enmity towards the Prophet ﷺ and composed poetry to defame him.

Thus, Hassaan Ibn Thabet asked for permission to answer back.

Then Abu Sufyan embraced Islam in the year of the conquest of Makkah:
At the year of the conquest of Makkah, Abu Sufyan bin Al-Harith, his son and Abdullah bin Abi Umayyah bin Al-Mughirah, his cousin and son-in-law met the Messenger of Allah ﷺ at Al-Abwa’ and they sought to enter to him, but they were not given permission, so Umm Salamah spoke to him about them, and she said,

“Oh, Messenger of God, your cousins and your son-in-law are not the most wretched of people with you.” (she wants him to forgive their enmity and insults)

He ﷺ said,

“I have no need for them. As for my cousin, he insulted my honor. As for my cousin and son-in-law, he is the one who said in Mecca what he said”

فَقَالَ: لَا حَاجَةَ لِي فِيهِمَا، أَمَّا ابْنُ عَمِّي فَهَتَكَ عِرْضِي، وَأَمَّا ابْنُ عَمَّتِي وَصِهْرِي فَهُوَ الَّذِي، قَالَ لِي بِمَكَّةَ مَا قَالَ .

He referred to the fact that Abu Sufyan used to frequently annoy the Messenger of God and slander him by his poets, even though before the prophetic mission he was from the most beloved of people to him. Hassaan bin Thabit then asked the permission of the Prophet (ﷺ) to respond and lampoon (i.e. compose satirical poetry defaming) the Abu Sufyan and infidels. Aisha said: he, Hassaan, used to defend the Prophet (with his poetry) (Bukhari 3531 - Muslim 2489a)

Abdullah bin Abi Umayyah, was the one who asked the prophet earlier in Mecca to punish them or do extraordinary miracles to believe.

This was mentioned in Quran 17:90-93

وَقَالُوا لَن نُّؤْمِنَ لَكَ حَتَّىٰ تَفْجُرَ لَنَا مِنَ الْأَرْضِ يَنبُوعًا ‎﴿٩٠﴾‏ أَوْ تَكُونَ لَكَ جَنَّةٌ مِّن نَّخِيلٍ وَعِنَبٍ فَتُفَجِّرَ الْأَنْهَارَ خِلَالَهَا تَفْجِيرًا ‎﴿٩١﴾‏ أَوْ تُسْقِطَ السَّمَاءَ كَمَا زَعَمْتَ عَلَيْنَا كِسَفًا أَوْ تَأْتِيَ بِاللَّهِ وَالْمَلَائِكَةِ قَبِيلًا ‎﴿٩٢﴾‏ أَوْ يَكُونَ لَكَ بَيْتٌ مِّن زُخْرُفٍ أَوْ تَرْقَىٰ فِي السَّمَاءِ وَلَن نُّؤْمِنَ لِرُقِيِّكَ حَتَّىٰ تُنَزِّلَ عَلَيْنَا كِتَابًا نَّقْرَؤُهُ ۗ قُلْ سُبْحَانَ رَبِّي هَلْ كُنتُ إِلَّا بَشَرًا رَّسُولًا ‎﴿٩٣﴾

"They said: "We shall not accept your Message until you cause a spring to gush forth for us from the earth; (90) or that there be a garden of palms and vines for you and then you cause rivers to abundantly flow forth through them; (91) or cause the sky to fall on us in pieces as you claimed, or bring Allah and the angels before us, face to face; (92) or that there come to be for you a house of gold, or that you ascend to the sky - though we shall not believe in your ascension (to the sky) - until you bring down a book for us that we can read." Say to them, (O Muhammad): "Holy is my Lord! Am I anything else than a human being, who bears a Message (from Allah)?" (93)

Ibn Kathir commented:

وأما نبيّ الرحمة، ونبيّ التوبة المبعوث رحمة للعالمين، فسأل إنظارهم وتأجيلهم، لعل الله أن يخرج من أصلابهم من يعبده لا يشرك به شيئًا. وكذلك وقع، فإن من هؤلاء الذين ذكروا من أسلم بعد ذلك وحسن إسلامه حتى "عبد الله بن أبي أمية" الذي تبع النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم وقال له ما قال، أسلم إسلامًا تامًا، وأناب إلى الله عز وجل.

"As for the Prophet of Repentance and Mercy, who was sent as a mercy to the worlds, he asked Allah to delay their punishment, in the hope that Allah would bring forth from their offspring people who would worship Allah Alone, with no partner or associate. This is what indeed did happen, for among those who are mentioned above were some who later embraced Islam and became good and sincere Muslims, even `Abdullah bin Abi Umayyah, who followed the Prophet (out of that meeting) and spoke to him as such, became a sincere Muslim and turned to Allah in repentance. "

https://quranx.com/tafsirs/17.90

When Abu Sufyan knew that Prophet Muhammad ﷺ doesn't want to meet him, he said: By God, they will either permit me to enter or I will take the hand of this son of mine, then we will go until we die of thirst and hunger.

Then, the Messenger of God ﷺ showed affection and mercy towards him and forgave them.

Later, Abu Sufyan Ibn al Harith attended the Battle of Hunayn in support of the Prophet ﷺ.

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Footnotes and references:

لما كان عام الفتح { لقي أبو سفيان بن الحارث رسول الله ﷺ بالأبواء وابن له وعبد الله بن أبي أمية بن المغيرة ابن عمته وصهره ، والتمسا الدخول عليه فلم يؤذن لهما ، فكلمته أم سلمة فيهما فقالت يا رسول الله ابن عمك وابن عمتك وصهرك لا يكونا أشقى الناس بك قال لا حاجة لي بهما ، أما ابن عمي فهتك عرضي فإنه كان شديد الأذية لرسول الله كثير الهجو له مع أنه كان قبل البعثة آلف الناس إليه ، قال : وأما ابن عمتي وصهري فهو الذي قال بمكة ما قال أي لن نؤمن لك حتى تعرج إلى السماء في سلم ونحن ننظر وتأتي بصك وأربعة ملائكة يشهدون أنك رسول الله ولن نؤمن لرقيك حتى تنزل علينا كتابا نقرؤه كما أخبر الله عنه في سورة الإسراء فلما خرج الخبر إليهما بذلك ومع أبي سفيان بني له ، فقال : والله ليأذنن لي أو لآخذن بيد بني هذا ثم نذهبن في الأرض حتى نموت عطشا وجوعا فلما بلغ ذلك رسول الله ﷺ رق لهما رقا شديدا ثم أذن لهما فدخلا عليه ، وأسلما } .
وفي الهدي للإمام العلامة ابن القيم قدس الله روحه { أن عليا رضوان الله عليه قال لأبي سفيان رضي الله عنه ائت رسول الله ﷺ من قبل وجهه فقل له ما قال إخوة يوسف ليوسف عليهم السلام { تَاللَّهِ لَقَدْ آثَرَكَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْنَا وَإِن كُنَّا لَخَاطِئِينَ } فإنه لا يرضى أن يكون أحد أحسن منه قولا ففعل ذلك أبو سفيان فقال له رسول الله ﷺ { لَا تَثْرِيبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الْيَوْمَ ۖ يَغْفِرُ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ ۖ وَهُوَ أَرْحَمُ الرَّاحِمِينَ} فأنشده أبو سفيان رضي الله عنه معتذرا :

لَعَمْرُكَ إنِّي يَوْمَ أَحْمِلُ رَايَةً … لِتَغْلِبَ خَيْلُ اللَّاتِ خَيْلَ مُحَمَّدِ
لَكَالْمُدْلِجِ الْحَيْرَانِ أَظْلَمَ لَيْلُهُ … فَهَذَا أَوَانِي حِينَ أُهْدَى وَأَهْتَدِي
هَدَانِي هَادٍ غَيْرُ نَفْسِي وَنَالَنِي … مَعَ اللَّهِ مَنْ طَرَّدْتُ كُلَّ مُطَرَّدِ
أَصُدُّ وَأَنْأَى جَاهِدًا عَنْ مُحَمَّدٍ … وَأُدْعَى (وَإِنْ لَمْ أَنْتَسِبْ) مِنْ مُحَمَّدِ
هُمْ مَا هُمْ مَنْ لَمْ يَقُلْ بِهَوَاهُمْ … وَإِنْ كَانَ ذَا رَأْيٍ يُلَمْ وَيُفَنَّدْ
أُرِيدُ لِأُرْضِيَهُمْ وَلَسْتُ بِلَائِطٍ … مَعَ الْقَوْمِ مَا لَمْ أُهْدَ فِي كُلِّ مَقْعَدِ
فَقُلْ لِثَقِيفٍ لَا أُرِيدُ قِتَالَهَا … وَقُلْ لِثَقِيفِ تِلْكَ: غَيْرِي أَوْعِدِي
فَمَا كُنْتُ فِي الْجَيْشِ الَّذِي نَالَ عَامِرًا … وَمَا كَانَ عَنْ جَرَّا لِسَانِي وَلَا يَدِي
قَبَائِلَ جَاءَتْ مِنْ بِلَادٍ بَعِيدَةٍ … نَزَائِعَ جَاءَتْ مِنْ سِهَامٍ وَسُرْدَد

قال في الهدي ، كابن إسحاق وجماعة { : إن أبا سفيان لما قال : ودلني على الله من طردته كل مطرد ضرب رسول الله ﷺ صدره وقال أنت طردتني كل مطرد ، وحسن إسلامه رضي الله عنه } .

https://www.islamweb.net/ar/library/index.php?page=bookcontents&idfrom=186&idto=187&bk_no=44&ID=115

https://islamweb.net/ar/library/index.php?page=bookcontents&flag=1&bk_no=87&ID=10271

Al-Muhaddith Arabic-English dictionary:

هَتَكَ عِرْضَهُ to disgrace, dishonor, degrade, debase
هَتَكَ عِرْض امْرَأةٍ to rape, ravish, violate

Modern Arabs, in the last century, used the same expression to refer to violating chastity and honours of women by rape. The Arabs at 7th century used the expression "Hatak erd" هَتَكَ عِرْضَهُ to refer to insults against honour and ancestors.

Lexicon:

Root: عرض - Entry: عِرْضٌ ― Signification: D6

A man's honour, or reputation, (جَانِبُهُ,) which he preserves from impairment and blame, both as it relates to himself and to his حَسَب [or grounds of pretension to respect on account of the honourable deeds or qualities of his ancestors,, &c.]: (IAth, O, Ḳ:) or whether it relate to himself or to his ancestors or to those of whose affairs the management is incumbent on him: (Ḳ:) or a subject of praise, and of blame, of a man, (Abu-l-ʼAbbás, IAth, O, Ḳ,) whether it be in himself or in his ancestors or in those of whose affairs the management is incumbent on him: (IAth:) or those things by the mention whereof with praise or dispraise a man rises or falls; which may be things whereby he is characterized exclusively of his ancestors; and it may be that his ancestors are mentioned in such a manner that imperfection shall attach to him by reason of the blaming of them. respecting this there is no disagreement among the lexicologists, except IḲt [whose objection see in what follows]: (Abu-l-ʼAbbás, O:) or (accord. to some, Ṣ) grounds of pretension to respect on account of the honourable deeds or qualities of one's ancestors,, &c., (حَسَبٌ, Ṣ, Mṣb, Ḳ,) and eminence, or nobility, (شَرَفٌ,) in which one glories. (Ḳ.) You say, فُلَانٌ كَرِيمُ العِرْضِ Such a one is generous, or noble, in respect of حَسَب: and هُوَ ذُو عِرْضٍ he is a possessor of حَسَب; and of شَرَف. (TA.)

Root: عرض - Entry: عِرْضٌ ― Signification: D7

Sometimes, Ancestors are meant by it. (AʼObeyd, Ḳ.) Thus you say, شَتَمَ فُلَانٌ عِرْضَ فُلَانٍ, meaning Such a one spoke evil of the ancestors of such a one. (AʼObeyd.) And فُلَانٌ جَرِبُ العِرْضِ Such a one is base, or ignoble, in respect of ancestry. (TA.) IḲt disallows this signification, asserting عِرْضٌ to have no other signification than those of a man's نَفْس and his بَدَن: (O,* TA:) but IAmb says that this is an error; as is shown by the saying of Aboo-Miskeen Ed-Dárimee,

* رُبَّ مَهْزُولٍ سَمِينٌ عِرْضُهُ *

* وَسَمِينِ الجِسْمِ مَهْزُولُ الحَسَبْ *

in which عِرْض cannot be syn. with بَدَن and جِسْم, for, were it so, it would involve a contradiction; the meaning being only Many a person meagre in respect of his body is noble [or great] in respect of his ancestry; [and fat in respect of the body, meagre in respect of grounds of pretension to honour on account of the honourable deeds or qualities of his ancestors,, &c.:] and by Moḥammad's using the expression دَمُهُ وَعِرْضُهُ; for if عِرْض were [here] syn. with نَفْس, it had sufficed to say دمه without عرضه. (O, TA.)